*-. the (beautiful) truth .-*

Ok, kids. Listen up. Here's today's life lesson: The more you can say "I love me", the easier it is to say "I love you". That is, the more you are able to love yourself, the more effortless everything from a first date to the ever famous "I do" becomes. These days, it seems like all the advice is geared towards "how to get the guy", "what the rules of [the game] are", and so on and so forth. A little enhancement of our social common sense doesn't hurt, but why does finding our soulmate need to be our focus? This advice of focusing on yourself that I am now giving is nothing new; we have heard it many times before in different ways, "no one will like you if you don't like yourself", etc. It seems like the advice we're usually given sounds so vague, and even worse, there are also many mixed messages. "Why is such a pretty girl like you single? When are you getting married?" etc. Focusing on finding a partner will not, alas, help you find a partner. So, what do you do? Find yourself. And how may you do that? Of course, there are a million and one ways of being happier with who you are, boosting your self esteem, etc., but I'll take a crack at it from my own recent experience. You know that thing that you've always wanted to do but have never dared to try? Well, now is a great time. Shell the extra cash for a few sessions with a personal trainer, join the Book Club at work, buy a French cooking book and try out some recipes, learn how to play the guitar, etc. No one expects you to be an athele or a chef, but try different things that you may just end up enjoying. Next: goals. What are yours? Define them. Break them down. Do a small step. Make a phone call. There is no harm in finding out when the portuguese classes are offered. Or maybe you want to get your Master's? Talk to people that already have done it and ask how they did it. Not a saver but would love to buy a house? Buy Personal Finance for Dummies and start putting away 10 dollars a week. Every bit counts. Finally, treat yourself as you would someone else. Willing to stay late at work to explain to your co worker the new contract? Willing to drive at 10pm to save your stranded friend? Could spend hours researching something online for your boyfriend's article? Do the same for yourself. (Oh, by the way, all this stuff actually still applies even if you're currently commited!) Treat yourself well. Learn to be assertive and say no. Know that, sometimes, you does actually come first. Think of what you want. There will be moments when even an inner bitch will be useful. Most of all, recognize the qualities you have and the small moments of success. Well deserved indeed!