*-. holiday gifts .-*

We always hear how people are ultimately happier giving than receiving. I understand the joy of giving. I try to make it my way of life, to help, to listen, to calm, to give back. And yet, too much of a good thing can't be good. Where are the boundaries? The eternal "woman problem" of worrying about everyone else and forgetting herself. Helping for me seems so natural. Almost like it is what I am supposed to be doing. It fills me with joy in my everyday life, it gives me fuel to continue. Of course, there's also the other coin: receiving too much. The typical "narcissist". And alas, we find that the key is in the balance. Why is it so hard for me to receive? You give me your trust, your smiles, your sweet words. And yet I continue to have difficulty receiving. Silly to doubt that I am deserving, and yet true. Help me accept. Absorb. Believe. And be proud. Of me.