*-. Arroz con habichuelas .-*

If listening to Juan Luis Guerra while I'm washing dishes doesn't mean i'm homesick, then I don't know what does. Getting Facebook invites to Sandra Collins in Praia and the 809K anniversary with Josh Wink certainly don't help. I have latin american spanish speaking co workers, I can get mangu con cebolla from delivery from El Principe and I can buy Presidente at the corner store... but of course it's not the same. I've never been more proud of our Independence Day, and there was no Carnaval Vegano to attend... not that I ever went when I was living back home, but now, all of a sudden, it feels like I missed the biggest bash of the year! Spring is here, and it's getting warmer. God, how my mood improves when it's warm! Taking the bus seems like no big deal... Of course, it takes a full blown winter and 3 crazy snow storms to recognize... what if I could have beautiful, 85 degree weather all year? Oh wait, I could!! :( 9 months is too long to wait to taste the saltwater in my mouth while we drive down El Malecon. Too long to see my friends, to chit chat with my grandmother because we really don't know how much longer she'll be around, and to take my then 12 (!) year old sister to eat ice cream, because she still behaves like a little princess! I'm going to New York, which is the closest to my home island I can get, to see if I can get back some of my Dominican energy. To speak incredibly fast spanish splashed with our unique slang of Ke lo kes, Cuentames and No Jodas'. And trust me dear, you make me forget for days at a time that I miss those rivers and mountains and beaches and salt lakes and mini deserts... But let's face it, it's not easy!!

*-. the (beautiful) truth .-*

Ok, kids. Listen up. Here's today's life lesson: The more you can say "I love me", the easier it is to say "I love you". That is, the more you are able to love yourself, the more effortless everything from a first date to the ever famous "I do" becomes. These days, it seems like all the advice is geared towards "how to get the guy", "what the rules of [the game] are", and so on and so forth. A little enhancement of our social common sense doesn't hurt, but why does finding our soulmate need to be our focus? This advice of focusing on yourself that I am now giving is nothing new; we have heard it many times before in different ways, "no one will like you if you don't like yourself", etc. It seems like the advice we're usually given sounds so vague, and even worse, there are also many mixed messages. "Why is such a pretty girl like you single? When are you getting married?" etc. Focusing on finding a partner will not, alas, help you find a partner. So, what do you do? Find yourself. And how may you do that? Of course, there are a million and one ways of being happier with who you are, boosting your self esteem, etc., but I'll take a crack at it from my own recent experience. You know that thing that you've always wanted to do but have never dared to try? Well, now is a great time. Shell the extra cash for a few sessions with a personal trainer, join the Book Club at work, buy a French cooking book and try out some recipes, learn how to play the guitar, etc. No one expects you to be an athele or a chef, but try different things that you may just end up enjoying. Next: goals. What are yours? Define them. Break them down. Do a small step. Make a phone call. There is no harm in finding out when the portuguese classes are offered. Or maybe you want to get your Master's? Talk to people that already have done it and ask how they did it. Not a saver but would love to buy a house? Buy Personal Finance for Dummies and start putting away 10 dollars a week. Every bit counts. Finally, treat yourself as you would someone else. Willing to stay late at work to explain to your co worker the new contract? Willing to drive at 10pm to save your stranded friend? Could spend hours researching something online for your boyfriend's article? Do the same for yourself. (Oh, by the way, all this stuff actually still applies even if you're currently commited!) Treat yourself well. Learn to be assertive and say no. Know that, sometimes, you does actually come first. Think of what you want. There will be moments when even an inner bitch will be useful. Most of all, recognize the qualities you have and the small moments of success. Well deserved indeed!

*-. Cuerpo, mente y corazon .-*

I've commented in this blog before regarding having balance. Not too much, not too little. Not too soon, not too late. Not submissive nor aggresive; that sort of thing. But lately a different kind of balance comes to mind. Mind, heart and body. I use my mind and even heart so much. I'm at work thinking all day; figuring out the best way to help my clients, while also being invested in their treatment with emotions. In my personal life, it seems emotions are the ones that get the workout: I try to be honest, open about how I feel, even with myself. But how about body? True, I like dancing, but besides the odd night out every few weeks to dance, or dancing merengue while I'm washing the dishes, it was somewhat neglected. I've started going the gym (yes, me, lazy ass at the gym!) and I really don't know what I'm doing, but I like it. It's a new adventure, something related to the much needed self care we therapists need so badly. I get on that eliptical for a little while, and then go and try and figure out what machine I know how to do that I didn't do yesterday. Some ab work, back strectch. I mean, last night I got the best sleep ever after the gym! It makes me feel good about myself. I do not intend this to be a get healthy post. Well, not completely. I'm just saying, ask yourself in what area you are lacking. Grab a book, stop bottling up all the feelings, take a walk outside. Balance yourself!