*-. excerpts from a letter to you .-*

i havent been doing great lately... all i do is think about eating and watch shows and movies... i have so many things (responsabilities) going on right now... paper do, resume, applying for job permit, applying for job, big dissertation equivalent... and my car was hit and and... its not that these issues are out of ordinary life troubles, i just feel like all im doing is numbing myself so i dont have to deal with anything... [...] i talk to my parents every once in a while but part of me feels that im going at this alone... its very weird to come to my empty apartment every day and i think i just keep trying to make myself forget that.. i dont know whats up with me lately like that. im in a funk where i cant stand to do what i need to do every day... i just wanna crawl into bed all day and go home... im always last minute, im always avoiding reality some how and worrying about food and lack of friends cuz everybodys all over the freakin globe or whatever... but lately its just worse than usual and if i dont get my shit together im gonna loose opportunities over bullshit... [...] i just... you know. its all new and scary and i dont wanna wait anymore to see you and i dont wanna graduate because i dont know whats gonna happen and its silly but some how this silliness is getting ahold of me...