*-. Lately .-*

I recently stopped going to my therapist. Kind of like seeing what happens when the training wheels come off. Surprisingly, I've been managing things much better than I thought. The change happens slowly. I feel like I used to expect that, one day, I would wake up everything would be different, fixed. I would never feel lonely, or guilty. I would be organized. I would have this great self esteem all the time. But the changes happen so gradually. And I have a little more will power to do the day to day things and a little less guilt and sadness over everything and nothing in particular. And its starting to build up. The joy I have for the things that give me joy. The courage I need for the things I need to do. Granted, I don't think I'm going to diet or exercise any time soon, but its definitely there. That inkling that things are different now; better. That hope that lasts more than a few minutes, or hours even. That idea that, even though there is still much to do and even much more to figure out, I am on the right track and things are going to be OK.